MattyTheLemonGod

And so, as if crawling back from some abyss somewhere, I done hath returned bitches. I've been a deviant for a year and done nothing. Like seriously I have no idea why. Its not like I stopped drawing or anything, I've just been busy. With... Actually I don't know what I've been busy with. Y'see, I'm one of them guys; you know the ones. The ones that are generally nice to people but secretly plotting every possible demise I can inflict with surrounding materials. For exemplum: A fellow asks me for a stapler. I reply with 'Sorry bro, ain't no bitchin' stapla oe'r here.' And he replies with 'Sh*t, a'iight, thanks anywaheys mofo.' 'No probs,

Thou shalt not be open about the fact that you despise Nicki Minaj in a cubicle of a Starbucks restroom And you can quote me on that. I was taking my time on the toilet I'll admit. I mean I'd already listened to 6 people come and go, because apparently I'm generally toilet shy. Its not even an embarrassment thing. It's more like my brain's all, 'GODAMMIT LOWER ABDOMEN GET YOUR SH*T TOGETHER.' and they're all 'NOPE. NOT UNTIL COMPLETE STRANGER #6 WASHES HIS HANDS AND GOES AWAY' I guess I was there for around 10 minutes, during which the overhead speakers had played multiple songs from the UK charts I'd never really cared about. Until.. 'O

Oh, look another diary blog thing I can abuse. So right, this one time, I got an idea. Which for me is a dangerous thing. (We're talking 'Hey Prince of Persia's a good game Matty, why don't you play it?' 'Alright' *5 weeks later* 'I CAN DO PARKOUR NOW' *Beaten up repeatedly by inanimate walls and things*) One time I dreamed up this crazy idea. I would make my own bible. I mean why the hell not. It'd be awesome to put anything on paper and go round saying 'Hey! I just made up my own religion! What the balls did you do with your day!?' And so was born 'The Lemon Bible'. And it was good. In this bible, I created 3 Gods. You've got: Je